


Not Forgotten

by Benedicthiddleston



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Community: 1_million_words, Gen, One-Shot, weekend challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-18
Updated: 2014-02-18
Packaged: 2018-01-12 21:39:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1201594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Benedicthiddleston/pseuds/Benedicthiddleston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim is forced to leave one of his crew behind on a hazardous planet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the [weekend challenge of Feb. 14th-16th](http://1-million-words.livejournal.com/531153.html) at the LJ Community 1_Million_Words.
> 
> Prompt: three different word prompts and a picture prompt, all can be found [here](http://1-million-words.livejournal.com/531153.html?thread=5492433#t5492433).
> 
> Unbetated and proofread once. Angst GALORE!

**Not Forgotten**

“I have to find him; I will NOT leave him behind!”

“You have to! We need to get out of here, NOW!”

Captain James T. Kirk was torn between finding his best friend and leaving before the hazards of the foreign planet they were on completely ruined the EV suits they were wearing.

And Dr. Leonard McCoy had gotten lost in the sprawling jungle, his communicator off or broken or _something_ , and there was no sign of Kirk’s Chief Medical Officer. Lieutenant Commander Montgomery Scott could not get a signal from Dr. McCoy and the whole landing party was at risk of rapid deterioration and death if they weren’t safely back on the Enterprise in under two minutes time.

They were running out of time, and had not located the doctor by any means. There were only seconds left.

Lieutenant Nyota Uhura grabbed Kirk’s sleeve and yanked him back to her side, her communicator out and flashing. “It is no use. He’s _gone_.”

“No, we have to find him. I won’t leave him! I have an obligation to protect my crew! And he’s a part of my crew!”

“WE’LL BE DEAD, CAPTAIN! Then what good will we be?!”

And then that familiar tug, that god-awful familiar pull on his atoms started. And Kirk, in all his anguish, fear, and complete disregard for no-win scenarios, screamed. “NO!”

* * *

Jim sat on the couch in his quarters, his legs pulled up to his chest as he stared across the empty room, his eyes empty and lonely. He was on temporary – read that: permanent – leave from command of the Enterprise. He was emotionally compromised. While he had let Dr. M’benga patch him up, he hadn’t said a word since the transporter room. Hadn’t even protested to M’benga pulling rank and putting Spock on as Acting Captain. Hadn’t even protested to Dr. Carol Marcus leading him back to his quarters, asking him if he needed anything. He hadn’t answered, of course.  

He’d had to leave Dr. McCoy behind.

He had to leave his best friend behind on a planet because Scotty forced him into transport. Because his best friend had gotten lost and time had run out. The probability his best friend was _dead_ was too close to absolute than Jim cared to think about.

It weighed heavily on his mind – and his heart.

Professionalism be damned, he had cried and slammed a fist into the nearest statue once they had materialized on the transporter pad back on the Enterprise. Uhura had been a likely target, along with Scotty, but instead his fist had hit a much harder stone – _Spock_.

“YOU LET HIM DIE!”

But Spock wouldn’t utter a word in defense of the actions that had taken place. All Spock did was gently, with a control Jim didn’t know Spock had, turn Jim towards the waiting medical help. The EV suit was stripped of his person and a blanket wrapped around him.

And that was when Jim had gone totally silent.

 _I let him die. I left him to die. I don’t do that. I don’t leave anyone behind. Oh god, I am so sorry. I am so sorry, Bones. I am so sorry. I want you back. I need you. I can’t do this without you. I need your grouchiness and swear words and constant bickering about my medical problems. No one knows me like you do. No one_.

Nothing would ever be okay again.

Nothing.

_The stars won’t be the same without you, Bones. I can’t… I can’t look at them the same without you by my side. You were brilliant and the best at your job. And you were my – friend. My best friend. I miss you already. Why did this have to happen? Why?_

_I miss you... so much…_


End file.
